What It Takes to Master a New Behavior

How we become masterful — as individuals, teams, and organizations

Have you heard of the “conscious competence” model of learning? Also known as the four stages of competence, it’s a framework that describes our path to learning a new skill. According to the model, we go through four stages when we learn something new:

• Stage 1: Unconscious incompetence, when “you don’t know what you don’t know.” In this stage, you’re unaware of a given skill and your present deficiency in it.
• Stage 2: Conscious incompetence, when “you know what you don’t know.” In this stage, you’ve learned the existence of the skill and/or your present deficiency, but you haven’t yet learned the skill itself.
• Stage 3: Conscious competence, when “you know what you know.” In this stage, you’ve learned the skill but it hasn’t yet become second nature to you and thus still requires conscious effort to execute.
• Stage 4: Unconscious competence, when “you don’t know what you know.” In this stage, executing your skill has become natural, and you no longer need to think about it.

During my time as a Lecturer at the Stanford d.school, we found this model’s language useful for designing and guiding the student experience. It’s one way for learners to become aware of their learning journey — or, as we say at the d.school, to become mindful of their process.

However, as I’ve continued doing design and innovation work over the last several years, I’ve found the conscious competence model to be inadequate in supporting behavior change on the ground. The more I’ve shared and applied the model, the more I’ve noticed two primary shortcomings.

First, I’ve found the language to be clunky and confusing. People frequently get tripped up trying to remember which “c-o” word goes where, which comes first, and what each means. This may seem minor, but our ability to communicate and verbally relate to our journey as learners can have an impact on outcomes.

Second, there’s an important step missing between Stage 2 and Stage 3 above. Jumping straight from conscious incompetence to conscious competence suggests that once we know about a shortcoming that we will automatically start getting good at it — that once we’re conscious, we automatically begin getting competent. It leaves out a critical step of individual empowerment and responsibility.

So over the last few years I’ve been prototyping a new model of gaining mastery, of reaching “unconscious competence.” I’ve found it to be more relatable, clearer, and empowering for anyone on their journey to master a new behavior. I call it the Mindful-to-Masterful Model.

As you’ve likely guessed, the first step is to…

1) Become mindful

Learning a new behavior always begins with gaining awareness of it. If you don’t know something exists, you can’t practice it. And in addition to realizing the behavior exists, it’s equally important to acknowledge that you haven’t mastered it yet.

To become mindful of an opportunity to learn a new behavior is both to see a new, unmastered behavior and to acknowledge your current relationship with that behavior — that is, your current deficiency in it.

If you’re working on your behaviors relating to conflict management, becoming mindful may look like beginning to see what triggers you and what you might be doing (or not doing) to contribute to the situation. Or if your team is working to engage the “Yes, and” mindset, becoming mindful may look like noticing when “Yes, but” behaviors show up or when you begin to feel a sense of heaviness come across your team, and calling that out.

Becoming mindful moves you from Stage 1 (Unconscious Incompetence) to Stage 2 (Conscious Incompetence). As important as becoming mindful is, it’s really only the first step. In order to make change happen, next we need to…

2) Become choiceful

This step is the crux of the model, and it can be the most difficult step to accomplish.

Becoming aware of a shortcoming, an area for growth, or an opportunity to learn is one thing. Dedicating yourself to making the change is another. Choosing to respond differently in a moment of choice reinforces the behavior you’ve committed to mastering and makes the change actually happen.

On the flip side of being the most difficult step, it’s also the most empowering one. It enables you to take responsibility for changing a possibly deeply ingrained behavior that you may have previously been unaware of. It reminds you that you have complete control over your own learning, growth, and ultimate mastery of any new behavior. Pretty cool.

We know these moments of choice well. When we’re introduced to a new behavior or mindset, we become mindful of our opportunity to choose. Then, when the moment comes, we have the choice of what to do next. If someone on your team suggests a “bad” idea during a brainstorm, do you make the choice to shut it down outright, by saying “No” or “Yes, but it won’t work because…”? Or do you make the choice to say, “Yes, and what if we…” to build on their idea and see where it leads you? The choice is yours.

Worth emphasizing is that this step is about remaining consistently choiceful in the moment of choice, not just about setting your intention once and then complacently assuming it’s going to happen.

Say an organization’s CEO states, “As a company, we’ve made the choice to be more innovative.” Great — she’s been choiceful at the beginning by setting the commitment. But a necessary follow-up question is, “Are you being choiceful every day about supporting and driving toward that commitment?”

Once the initial commitment is stated, it’s about choosing to engage the new behavior every time we become mindful of an opportunity to do so. Saying it once isn’t enough. We need to walk our talk.

Becoming choiceful empowers you to make the leap from Stage 2 (Conscious Incompetence) to Stage 3 (Conscious Competence); actually making this leap is what comes next, which happens when you…

3) Become skillful

When you consistently make intentional choices to engage new behaviors, you become skillful at doing so. Once you do, it becomes easier and less energy-intensive to be choiceful. It starts to just sort of…happen.

In the skillful phase, you go through each of the prior steps consciously in a moment of choice: you notice an opportunity (you’re mindful), and then you make the decision to engage your desired behavior (you’re choiceful). You’re building a new behavior, but it still requires energy to do so.

Moreover, when you’re skillful, the chances of messing up, of “failing,” or of “doing it wrong,” are still fairly high. And there are two categories of mess-ups. First, there are the times when you will make a choice (conscious or not) that does not support your commitment — in this case, you’ve failed to be choiceful. To work through this, you can reflect on the moment of choice and ask yourself, “How will I support myself in being choiceful next time?”

Second, there are the times when you will make the “right” choice (you succeed at being choiceful), but you’re not yet good at the behavior you’re practicing. That’s OK. That’s what it feels like to learn. We have to go through a period of being bad at something before we can be good at it. To work through this, 1) make sure you don’t lose confidence in the choicefulness just because the skill isn’t there yet; and 2) ask yourself, “What did I do wrong, and how might I do it better next time?”

Becoming skillful moves you from Stage 2 (Conscious Incompetence) to Stage 3 (Conscious Competence). In order to make the final leap, you must…

4) Become masterful

When you become masterful, the new behavior will have become second nature to you and require so little conscious effort that it just becomes how you operate. Your path through the steps of this model is likely subconscious.

You’re not necessarily consciously aware of the moment of choice, and you don’t necessarily consciously make the choice to engage the desired behavior. You’ve conditioned yourself to have a different — and intentional — natural response.

In the conscious-competence model, becoming masterful moves you from Stage 3 (Conscious Competence) to Stage 4 (Unconscious Competence).

The most important aspect of this model is its emphasis on being choiceful, on personal (or, in some cases, shared) responsibility for the desired outcome. I’d estimate that at least 90% of all of our unfulfilled intentions are stuck between mindful and choiceful. Many of us know what we need to do to be more collaborative, to lose weight, to be a more supportive partner, to reduce our environmental impact, or accomplish whatever goal is at the top of your list. The question that the Mindful-to-Masterful Model begs is, “How committed are you to being choiceful in the moment?”

So next time you notice an opportunity to practice a new behavior, ask yourself, “How can I be choiceful in this moment in a way that moves me closer to being masterful?”

The language I’ve used to describe an individual’s journey through the model is equally applicable to teams and organizations. The only difference is that in the latter two contexts, the responsibility for becoming mindful and choiceful becomes shared between multiple individuals. As collaborators and colleagues, we are able to elevate the awareness of those around us and to have our awareness elevated as well. We are able to support and be supported during opportunities to be choiceful so that we move toward becoming masterful together.

Whatever behavior you’re working to master — as an individual or as a teammate — try this model on and see how it feels. I hope it provides you with an empowering new vocabulary and support you on your journey to becoming masterful.